9 Tips For Surviving Political Conversations With Your Family During The Holidays

Welp, the holidays are here, which means you're probably anticipating (aka dreading) some preeeetty tough political conversations with your family.

Good News! We've got you! Use and share this guide for navigating those challenging interactions with everyone back home. Finding productive ways to engage in these conversations is important for growing stronger as a family and as a country. Let's Do This!

Tip #1: Outline goals and outcomes for conversation.

Identify why you're engaging in discussion and what you hope to take from it. Do you want to change their mind? Understand where they're coming from? Help them see your side?

"Thanks for talking to me about [this topic]. The goal of this conversation is to..."

"I know we may not see eye to eye about [the topic], but I'd love for us to just hear each other's perspectives..."

Tip #2: Make sure your conversation is one-on-one.

Many people often feel hurried or pressured when an audience is present, so if you really want to have a meaningful dialogue in which both parties feel comfortable, be sure to sit them aside.

"I don't want this to become a group argument - I'm really interested in hearing how you feel about [this topic]. Could we talk later?"

"I want to make sure we can really hear each other out. Do you mind if we talk in private later?"

Tip #3: Acknowledge their opinions.

In other words, suspend judgement. This doesn't mean agreeing with your relative, but if you want them to be open to hearing your side, you must validate their feelings and desire to engage in such a discussion. Basically, treat others as you would want to be treated: don't call them names, be dismissive, shout, walk away, etc.

"I understand this is how you're feeling..."

"I acknowledge this is your perspective..."

Tip #4: Ask clarifying questions.

The purpose of such conversations should not be to point fingers, but to gain insight into where your relatives are coming from and why they've chosen these stances. Again, try your best to avoid judgmental language.

"Can you tell me more about that?"

"What makes you feel that way?"

"I'm not sure I understand that point. Do you mind explaining it again?"

Tip #5: Practice active listening, and encourage your relative to do the same.

Make sure both of you are actually digesting and responding to what the other is saying and the message that they want to convey, and not just going off what your assumptions would lead you to believe.

Make eye contact.

Nod to show that you're listening and understanding.

Tip #6: Focus on individual issues and stories.

It's difficult to discuss things in abstraction, so be sure to center your points around things people can easily process, like stories of how you or a friend are affected by a certain problem or policy. Use "I" statements ("I felt X when you said...") to avoid pointing fingers at people or speaking for an entire group of people. It's especially important to avoid mentioning political parties or people you know will shut the conversation down.

"This policy hurts me because it restricts my..."

"I am directly impacted by [this policy], and it makes me feel..."

Tip #7: Ask how the conversation is going and take steps towards reorienting it.

Make sure that both of you are comfortable delving deeper into certain topics, and if they're not, take steps towards returning the conversation to a place where both parties feel safe speaking their minds.

"I feel like we've gotten off topic. Let's focus on [the orginal topic] instead..."

"I'm happy to address the point you just brought up later, but first I'd love for us to finish discussing [the orginial topic]."

Tip #8: Continue to have conversations.

By shutting down people or avoiding conversations, we can fuel division. By inviting people in, hearing their opinions, and engaging in ongoing dialogue, we can take steps towards building unity and a foundation of common understanding. The divide is not going to be solved by cutting out everyone you disagree with.

"I know it's going to take a lot more than one conversation to really understand one another, and I'm happy to discuss this again later with you."

"Thank you for taking the time to talk with me. If you have time I'd love to revisit this again later."

Tip #9: Recognize when you need to take a step back from engaging with people who are only looking to attack or hurt you.

If people refuse to give you the respect you deserve, then it's okay to care for yourself and take a break. Surround yourself with people who love you.